These are some of the things I’ve been hearing from people for the last 16 or so hours since Steve Jobs died.
I’ll keep adding to this as I continue to get more interesting (read as: weird) takes on the death of some guy I’ve never met:
“I wonder how long it will take until they discover he actually died last week, and they kept him in a freezer until AFTER the Apple Product Announcement? I mean, what are the chances of that?” – My Girlfriend
“I called in yesterday, and [co-worker] told me, ‘Steve is dead!’ And I thought, like, who’s Steve?” – Co-worker
“See, I think they found a way to graft his mind into the iOS system – so that when the next update comes out, Steve Jobs will be in every device, and will then be able to take over the world from beyond the grave!” – Okay, that one’s me.
“Apple will do fine, until they unveil iRadio or iStapler in a couple of years.” – Someone on G+
“What about Apple putting a Samsung Galaxy S2 into an iPhone case then calling it ‘4S?'” Person on G+ responding to that last person on G+
“The reason the new phone is ‘4S’ is so they can then say it’s the new iPhone – ‘for Steve.’ I don’t know if it is masterful, or skeevy.” – IT Guy
“It’s not that some famous person died. It’s that someone hugely successful died at only 56 that bums people out. Because if that’s possible for him, it means none of us are safe. We can each get our clock punched at any time.” – Me again.
“Yeah, but pancreatic cancer is a big deal. You don’t get to string your life along like that UNLESS you have Steve Jobs money in the bank.” – Co-worker
“Whatever you do, keep your mouth shut. You always end up saying something really crass when people die. The way Apple fanboys are, you’ll probably get lynched.” – My Girlfriend, before I left the house this morning